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A churn & burn haunt that makes the grade! |
Todd - Fear Columbus is a different style of haunt than we typically attend. I refer to haunts like this as “churn & burn” as they are typically more high-volume in attendance and are highly organized at getting people through the attraction at a good pace while still offering a memorable experience. It makes sense since Fear Columbus is in its sophomore year from transitioning from the cookie cutter haunt, The 13th Floor, which to my understanding is very similar across its multiple locations. Fortunately, the new ownership has transformed the haunt, implementing a number of aesthetic upgrades and bringing more quality. However, the formula still feels the same which has its pros and cons.
I’ll begin by flat out stating Fear Columbus is NOT a bad haunt (in fact, it has many impressive qualities) – it’s just different. It’s a well-oiled machine and if I was to compare haunts to movies, Fear Columbus would be a Michael Bay film. It’s loud, packs a punch (not literally), it’s entertaining and has a hell of a lot of eye candy. On the other hand, deep down, it doesn’t offer a deep experience and the formula for execution becomes predictable very quickly.
Visually, it’s amazing. I haven’t been to this space since it was Asylum, years before The 13th Floor moved in. I knew The 13th Floor would bring another level of scenery with it, but Fear Columbus is one of the best looking haunts I’ve seen. Of the two sections, both felt authentic and consistent throughout. The first area is primarily an old house, filled with occult signs and esoteric imagery, becoming more predominant the deeper you go. Hallways feel like actual hallways with wallpaper, trim, dim lights on the walls, etc. You encounter rituals, beings from another realm and witness the effects of these acts as sinister elements begin to overtake the environment. The environments are at a top-tier level, paralleling what we’ve come to expect from top-rated haunts such as The Dent Schoolhouse. The lighting is almost flawlessly executed – it’s dark when it’s supposed to be dark, no light bleed scene to scene and the lighting itself even contributes to the scares, flashing on at pivotal moments. Most impressive was the “exterior” portion of the second section, a street area with adjoined facilities, all of which you walk amongst and within. In the beginning we found ourselves in the kitchen of a diner. We walked out around the counter and saw a desperate zombie banging on the windows from the outside, where we soon found ourselves. This area was complete with store facades, cars (one overturned) and other objects keeping the pathway flowing in and out of these storefronts. Everything felt authentic and not two-dimensional. Fear Columbus offered some unique surprises as well. I’ve never seen a claustrophobia tunnel that took not one, but at least two turns. I damn near got lost in the thing and then a cleverly placed grabber puppet took me by surprise once I finally found the end.
There’s most definitely not an absence of sound either, whether it be atmospheric or blaring music. From the time we entered the parking lot, to the time we left it driving away, everything was LOUD. That is, louder than any other haunt I can recall. Louder than Haunted Hotel, louder than Black Orchard; so loud that trying to play back my voice notes is a totally futile effort (therefore I’m going 100% off memory here). Just like the lighting, the audio is also dynamic and triggered for scare effects – all part of that formula. I would argue it’s TOO loud – only because my ears were ringing afterwards, and this means a lot coming from me. I know I have some degree of hearing damage from 25 years worth of metal concerts.
The real sense of the “churn and burn” comes from the actors. Not the literal actors themselves but the impersonal nature of their stations. The repeating formula of Fear Columbus is this: You walk into an ominous room, it seems suspiciously inactive, then in an instant, lights kick on, the sounds cranks up to 11 and an actors pops out of somewhere other than directly in front of you (off to the side, above you, behind you, etc.). This happens countless times throughout. I couldn’t tell if all of this is working off a sensor trigger or if the actor is triggering it, but it’s clear as day that the intention is for all of this to happen uniformly for that startle scare. Almost Every. Single. Time. Hence, why it becomes predictable. I eventually found myself not reacting to what was intended to be the scare, but where the actor was coming from. They appear from some unexpected places so it turned more into a Where’s Waldo game for me. Unfortunately, this set up leaves very few actors any kind of personal contribution to their role. The VAST majority are simply a body in lieu of an animatronic positioned to jump out, reach out and/or yell when the lights and sound kick on. Most costuming appeared to be basic-to-average, consisting of clothing that fit the theme and a mask. Some characters who were staged in featured areas had full makeup. I distinctly recall the she-devil with a whip, which I dug of course. I get it though, there’s a lot of actors needed to run this experience and putting them all through makeup would be a great undertaking. However, it also shows that Fear Columbus needs bodies, not actors. Generally speaking, any given person could be placed in either position and do what the room required without any particular coaching or experience.
And then there’s the gift shop. In the words of the great Yogurt – “Merchandising, Merchandising, Merchandising!” You’ve got Fear Columbus – The T-shirt, Fear Columbus – The Cup, Fear Columbus – The Hat….now I’ll admit, if they had Fear Columbus – The Flamethrower I’d totally buy one. Displaying again how this haunt is a different animal than most, you conveniently exit through the gift shop, which is not just a counter but a full-fledged room full of both branded and other general merchandise. It works. Hell I bought an Elvira T-shirt and had to restrain myself from stopping there. But again, this well-oiled machine has some major overhead to cover, I’m sure. We don’t even live in the same city and yet I’ve probably seen more advertising for Fear Columbus online than I have for the local haunts in town.
It’s no doubt a blessing and a burden to have a haunt like Fear Columbus. With the money coming in paired with some talent, some incredible environments can be produced, one kick-ass sound system can be installed and you can provide an amusement-park like experience. But in order to maintain that, you’ve got to keep the place staffed (which is easier to accomplish since the actors do not need to deliver dialogue and contribute to a story, verbally), you’ve got to keep the people coming (hence the huge advertising budget) and at the same time, you need to keep the whole show up to par, to keep those people rolling in every single night to maintain cashflow. With the timed ticketing system and reservations, management can no doubt easily analyze their nightly business and forecast accordingly.
Fear Columbus, though maybe not evident to the average goer, is clearly a business as much as it is a haunt. Fortunately, overall, it’s a good haunt that I found to be highly enjoyable despite the general predictability. It’s a relief to be able to say this because my experience with big budget, burn and churn haunts are not good nor memorable ones. At Fear Columbus, there’s more than enough to experience and appreciate for the price of admission. Maybe just bring some ear plugs.
I’ll begin by flat out stating Fear Columbus is NOT a bad haunt (in fact, it has many impressive qualities) – it’s just different. It’s a well-oiled machine and if I was to compare haunts to movies, Fear Columbus would be a Michael Bay film. It’s loud, packs a punch (not literally), it’s entertaining and has a hell of a lot of eye candy. On the other hand, deep down, it doesn’t offer a deep experience and the formula for execution becomes predictable very quickly.
Visually, it’s amazing. I haven’t been to this space since it was Asylum, years before The 13th Floor moved in. I knew The 13th Floor would bring another level of scenery with it, but Fear Columbus is one of the best looking haunts I’ve seen. Of the two sections, both felt authentic and consistent throughout. The first area is primarily an old house, filled with occult signs and esoteric imagery, becoming more predominant the deeper you go. Hallways feel like actual hallways with wallpaper, trim, dim lights on the walls, etc. You encounter rituals, beings from another realm and witness the effects of these acts as sinister elements begin to overtake the environment. The environments are at a top-tier level, paralleling what we’ve come to expect from top-rated haunts such as The Dent Schoolhouse. The lighting is almost flawlessly executed – it’s dark when it’s supposed to be dark, no light bleed scene to scene and the lighting itself even contributes to the scares, flashing on at pivotal moments. Most impressive was the “exterior” portion of the second section, a street area with adjoined facilities, all of which you walk amongst and within. In the beginning we found ourselves in the kitchen of a diner. We walked out around the counter and saw a desperate zombie banging on the windows from the outside, where we soon found ourselves. This area was complete with store facades, cars (one overturned) and other objects keeping the pathway flowing in and out of these storefronts. Everything felt authentic and not two-dimensional. Fear Columbus offered some unique surprises as well. I’ve never seen a claustrophobia tunnel that took not one, but at least two turns. I damn near got lost in the thing and then a cleverly placed grabber puppet took me by surprise once I finally found the end.
There’s most definitely not an absence of sound either, whether it be atmospheric or blaring music. From the time we entered the parking lot, to the time we left it driving away, everything was LOUD. That is, louder than any other haunt I can recall. Louder than Haunted Hotel, louder than Black Orchard; so loud that trying to play back my voice notes is a totally futile effort (therefore I’m going 100% off memory here). Just like the lighting, the audio is also dynamic and triggered for scare effects – all part of that formula. I would argue it’s TOO loud – only because my ears were ringing afterwards, and this means a lot coming from me. I know I have some degree of hearing damage from 25 years worth of metal concerts.
The real sense of the “churn and burn” comes from the actors. Not the literal actors themselves but the impersonal nature of their stations. The repeating formula of Fear Columbus is this: You walk into an ominous room, it seems suspiciously inactive, then in an instant, lights kick on, the sounds cranks up to 11 and an actors pops out of somewhere other than directly in front of you (off to the side, above you, behind you, etc.). This happens countless times throughout. I couldn’t tell if all of this is working off a sensor trigger or if the actor is triggering it, but it’s clear as day that the intention is for all of this to happen uniformly for that startle scare. Almost Every. Single. Time. Hence, why it becomes predictable. I eventually found myself not reacting to what was intended to be the scare, but where the actor was coming from. They appear from some unexpected places so it turned more into a Where’s Waldo game for me. Unfortunately, this set up leaves very few actors any kind of personal contribution to their role. The VAST majority are simply a body in lieu of an animatronic positioned to jump out, reach out and/or yell when the lights and sound kick on. Most costuming appeared to be basic-to-average, consisting of clothing that fit the theme and a mask. Some characters who were staged in featured areas had full makeup. I distinctly recall the she-devil with a whip, which I dug of course. I get it though, there’s a lot of actors needed to run this experience and putting them all through makeup would be a great undertaking. However, it also shows that Fear Columbus needs bodies, not actors. Generally speaking, any given person could be placed in either position and do what the room required without any particular coaching or experience.
And then there’s the gift shop. In the words of the great Yogurt – “Merchandising, Merchandising, Merchandising!” You’ve got Fear Columbus – The T-shirt, Fear Columbus – The Cup, Fear Columbus – The Hat….now I’ll admit, if they had Fear Columbus – The Flamethrower I’d totally buy one. Displaying again how this haunt is a different animal than most, you conveniently exit through the gift shop, which is not just a counter but a full-fledged room full of both branded and other general merchandise. It works. Hell I bought an Elvira T-shirt and had to restrain myself from stopping there. But again, this well-oiled machine has some major overhead to cover, I’m sure. We don’t even live in the same city and yet I’ve probably seen more advertising for Fear Columbus online than I have for the local haunts in town.
It’s no doubt a blessing and a burden to have a haunt like Fear Columbus. With the money coming in paired with some talent, some incredible environments can be produced, one kick-ass sound system can be installed and you can provide an amusement-park like experience. But in order to maintain that, you’ve got to keep the place staffed (which is easier to accomplish since the actors do not need to deliver dialogue and contribute to a story, verbally), you’ve got to keep the people coming (hence the huge advertising budget) and at the same time, you need to keep the whole show up to par, to keep those people rolling in every single night to maintain cashflow. With the timed ticketing system and reservations, management can no doubt easily analyze their nightly business and forecast accordingly.
Fear Columbus, though maybe not evident to the average goer, is clearly a business as much as it is a haunt. Fortunately, overall, it’s a good haunt that I found to be highly enjoyable despite the general predictability. It’s a relief to be able to say this because my experience with big budget, burn and churn haunts are not good nor memorable ones. At Fear Columbus, there’s more than enough to experience and appreciate for the price of admission. Maybe just bring some ear plugs.
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Oh my. That's a wild experience. |
Paul - This was my first time visiting Fear Columbus in any of its forms. It was at least a couple of other haunts before its current reincarnation, and based on what I had heard from some people who went several years ago, I wasn't missing much by not going.
Well that's definitely no longer the case. This place is awesome!
From the moment you pull up to Fear you start to notice that this isn't a typical haunt. The permanent signage is large, bright, and easy to see, there are lights and fog machines all over the place, and the music is LOUD. The lights and sound aren't quite DJ Fear level, but it's not like they're Halloween Express and just hanging a crappy banner on the front of the building either. You'll buy your tickets online and when you arrive, you'll have to go through a security check before getting in line.
There's a short queue area outside before you go inside and see the first hints of what you're about to encounter. The indoor queue area is one of the best I've seen. Really cool signage, lighting, props, and the same loud music keep you engaged as you wait to walk into one of the better facades I've seen. You'll stop for a photo op inside the house and then you're off to have one crazy experience.
Fear consists of two sequential areas: The Summoning and Aftermath Anarchy. The summoning sends you through a cult house where the inhabitants are both cult members and the demons they've summoned into this world. Aftermath is a post-apocalyptic area where the people you encounter are just lunatics trying to survive on what's there.
Both portions are some of the longest, most detailed, perfectly executed haunt sets I've ever seen. Every square inch you'll see is done up to perfection. It's insanely realistic, the lighting couldn't be better, the music and sound effects are (still) super loud, and it's HUGE. We don't record our time through haunts, but this has to be one of the longest ones around. It's haunt eye-candy to the extreme.
I think the part that impressed me the most is the streetscape in the Aftermath Anarchy area. As you're walking through, it's hard to believe there was even room inside of this building to fabricate something like that. So crazy, and so impressive.
So there have to be some negatives right?? Well... kinda.
I wear earplugs in pretty much every haunt we go to. There have been a couple of haunts over the years that have really loud bangs or air blasts in them that have made my ears ring for hours afterwards, so I just wear earplugs in every one now. Even with those in, this place was still almost overwhelmingly loud. While the volume probably won't be an issue for most people, the place I saw it make the biggest difference is the acting. Fear doesn't lean heavily on the acting, and for the most part- they can't. It's so loud in there, there's no chance that a majority of the actors would have a voice after one night of trying to yell over the sound system. So a huge number of the actors that we saw were in some kind of jump-scare location in each room, and would jump out at you the same time they triggered some kind of light and extra loud sound device in the room. They didn't have to say anything, just went through the motions. There were still some actors with really good dialogue and the costuming was excellent no matter what role someone was put in, but I feel like there were too many rooms that relied on the jump scares. The jumps aren't negatives, just not my preference.
Am I nitpicking? Yes. I'd still go through again in a heartbeat, and I think you could go through multiple times in a season and still not catch everything in there. It's one of the most unbelievable haunts I've seen and is 100% worth visiting. Head up to the North side of Columbus and look Fear in the eyes!
Well that's definitely no longer the case. This place is awesome!
From the moment you pull up to Fear you start to notice that this isn't a typical haunt. The permanent signage is large, bright, and easy to see, there are lights and fog machines all over the place, and the music is LOUD. The lights and sound aren't quite DJ Fear level, but it's not like they're Halloween Express and just hanging a crappy banner on the front of the building either. You'll buy your tickets online and when you arrive, you'll have to go through a security check before getting in line.
There's a short queue area outside before you go inside and see the first hints of what you're about to encounter. The indoor queue area is one of the best I've seen. Really cool signage, lighting, props, and the same loud music keep you engaged as you wait to walk into one of the better facades I've seen. You'll stop for a photo op inside the house and then you're off to have one crazy experience.
Fear consists of two sequential areas: The Summoning and Aftermath Anarchy. The summoning sends you through a cult house where the inhabitants are both cult members and the demons they've summoned into this world. Aftermath is a post-apocalyptic area where the people you encounter are just lunatics trying to survive on what's there.
Both portions are some of the longest, most detailed, perfectly executed haunt sets I've ever seen. Every square inch you'll see is done up to perfection. It's insanely realistic, the lighting couldn't be better, the music and sound effects are (still) super loud, and it's HUGE. We don't record our time through haunts, but this has to be one of the longest ones around. It's haunt eye-candy to the extreme.
I think the part that impressed me the most is the streetscape in the Aftermath Anarchy area. As you're walking through, it's hard to believe there was even room inside of this building to fabricate something like that. So crazy, and so impressive.
So there have to be some negatives right?? Well... kinda.
I wear earplugs in pretty much every haunt we go to. There have been a couple of haunts over the years that have really loud bangs or air blasts in them that have made my ears ring for hours afterwards, so I just wear earplugs in every one now. Even with those in, this place was still almost overwhelmingly loud. While the volume probably won't be an issue for most people, the place I saw it make the biggest difference is the acting. Fear doesn't lean heavily on the acting, and for the most part- they can't. It's so loud in there, there's no chance that a majority of the actors would have a voice after one night of trying to yell over the sound system. So a huge number of the actors that we saw were in some kind of jump-scare location in each room, and would jump out at you the same time they triggered some kind of light and extra loud sound device in the room. They didn't have to say anything, just went through the motions. There were still some actors with really good dialogue and the costuming was excellent no matter what role someone was put in, but I feel like there were too many rooms that relied on the jump scares. The jumps aren't negatives, just not my preference.
Am I nitpicking? Yes. I'd still go through again in a heartbeat, and I think you could go through multiple times in a season and still not catch everything in there. It's one of the most unbelievable haunts I've seen and is 100% worth visiting. Head up to the North side of Columbus and look Fear in the eyes!
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There are demonic symbols, altars, candles, rituals, demons and so many jump scares! |
Teresa - This was our first visit to Fear Columbus. In the past, we attended another haunt located in the same building, but it has changed completely since then. This place is an experience! Wow! If I had to sum up this place with one word it would be INTENSE. It isn't a touch haunt, so you don't have to be afraid of that, but it's loud and you're assaulted from every angle, so even adrenaline junkies will have fun here. Being in a strip mall, there is plenty of parking. There are port-o-lets in front, fog machines cranking out fog, lights going every which way, and music blaring from the speakers. A number of attendees were breaking into dance as they waited. The queue actors were doing a fantastic job, lurking, surprising, scaring, and posing with guests. You have to buy tickets online (there are sometimes discounts for buying them early), and you'll want to check out the website, anyway. Everything you need is there, plus info about special events and things going on throughout the year. There is a stringent no weapons policy and you will be required to go through a metal detector before you can enter the haunt building. Inside, there is a courtyard with a fountain and big jack-o-lantern-headed scarecrows, and a screen with horror movie trivia in front of a haunted house-style façade.
The first attraction, all new for this year, is called The Summoning. If this makes you think someone has called Asmodeus, Baphomet, or Beelzebub, well, you're exactly right. When you first go in, you get a group photo you can pick up in the gift shop before you leave. Then, you go through all kinds of creepy rooms of this old house, each separated by curtains. I was impressed right away by the décor. The fabrics, the detail, the props, the design, the sets, they are so good! Every old-fashioned room looks like a poltergeist has redecorated or you just interrupted a séance gone wrong. There are demonic symbols, altars, candles, rituals, demons and so many jump scares! The music and sound effects are heart-poundingly loud, and every room is so intense. The actors are masters of the jump scare, and they don't give you a break. This part also had the craziest air tunnel I've ever been in. It actually has turns, so you have to fight your way through it, and if you're claustrophobic at all, you're also going to have to fight panic! I absolutely loved the theme and how well it was done. It's really something those of you with dark hearts will admire. If you make it away from the demons of The Summoning, there is a short waiting area, where you will find yourself on a street where you see building facades. You will now enter Aftermath: Anarchy. This area is like a post-apocalyptic town in the grip of zombies and total insanity. You go through various stores, businesses, streets, and parts of a town. Again, the sets are freaking awesome! The diner looks like a real diner with a counter and booths and curved window, complete with a zombie pounding on the glass from the street outside where you can see a crashed police car. One area looked like a convenience store, another a garage. Again, it was so intense and intimidating! It's just crashed vehicles, and horrible lunatics reaching through every opening and popping out of every place you'd least expect. And it just goes on and on and on. It's so long that we did eventually get bunched up as we caught the group in front of us, who were probably too terrified to keep moving. I couldn't believe how many scenes there were. We finally made it out into the lobby. Even that is like a dance club. If you love to have your senses overwhelmed from every side, this is the place for you! You'd be hard-pressed to find more impressive sets anywhere. I was really surprised by how much I really enjoyed this place. The lobby area has lots of cool merchandise, including t-shirts, keychains, purses, and mouse pads, all adorned with horror icons and haunt-related or satanic images. If you're hungry they also have snacks. And don't forget to check out your photo!
The first attraction, all new for this year, is called The Summoning. If this makes you think someone has called Asmodeus, Baphomet, or Beelzebub, well, you're exactly right. When you first go in, you get a group photo you can pick up in the gift shop before you leave. Then, you go through all kinds of creepy rooms of this old house, each separated by curtains. I was impressed right away by the décor. The fabrics, the detail, the props, the design, the sets, they are so good! Every old-fashioned room looks like a poltergeist has redecorated or you just interrupted a séance gone wrong. There are demonic symbols, altars, candles, rituals, demons and so many jump scares! The music and sound effects are heart-poundingly loud, and every room is so intense. The actors are masters of the jump scare, and they don't give you a break. This part also had the craziest air tunnel I've ever been in. It actually has turns, so you have to fight your way through it, and if you're claustrophobic at all, you're also going to have to fight panic! I absolutely loved the theme and how well it was done. It's really something those of you with dark hearts will admire. If you make it away from the demons of The Summoning, there is a short waiting area, where you will find yourself on a street where you see building facades. You will now enter Aftermath: Anarchy. This area is like a post-apocalyptic town in the grip of zombies and total insanity. You go through various stores, businesses, streets, and parts of a town. Again, the sets are freaking awesome! The diner looks like a real diner with a counter and booths and curved window, complete with a zombie pounding on the glass from the street outside where you can see a crashed police car. One area looked like a convenience store, another a garage. Again, it was so intense and intimidating! It's just crashed vehicles, and horrible lunatics reaching through every opening and popping out of every place you'd least expect. And it just goes on and on and on. It's so long that we did eventually get bunched up as we caught the group in front of us, who were probably too terrified to keep moving. I couldn't believe how many scenes there were. We finally made it out into the lobby. Even that is like a dance club. If you love to have your senses overwhelmed from every side, this is the place for you! You'd be hard-pressed to find more impressive sets anywhere. I was really surprised by how much I really enjoyed this place. The lobby area has lots of cool merchandise, including t-shirts, keychains, purses, and mouse pads, all adorned with horror icons and haunt-related or satanic images. If you're hungry they also have snacks. And don't forget to check out your photo!
Questions? Have a story to share? Leave it in the comments!